Prayers for the deported

Today, The Mudroom has published an essay I wrote about the grief of journeying alongside refugee claimants who are denied asylum, and the ways that my coworkers and I have learned to care for our souls so that we can continue to reach out to new arrivals despite the recurring pain of having friends deported. Here’s how it starts:

Silently, we sit around in a circle as my co-worker picks up the first candle, speaking a name and a prayer as she lights the wick and sets the tiny flame down in the middle of the table.  We each follow suit, one prayer and tongue of fire after another.

God, we don’t know where they are or if they’re alive…

Please keep her safe…

Please provide whatever he needs…

Just don’t let them be alone….

May she know that she is loved.

Each candle on the table represents a friend who has been deported. Each prayer is for a family or an individual we have accompanied through the process of making a refugee claim in Canada. These people have all failed to secure the protection they have asked for, often because their story was not believed…

You can read the rest of the piece over at the The Mudroom.  If you are someone who works with/lives alongside marginalized communities facing frequent violence or loss, what are the ways that you have learned to tend your soul in such a way that you are able to continue loving and reaching out without succumbing to burnout, hopelessness, or compassion fatigue? How can we strengthen ourselves to live as friends and allies with the oppressed over the long haul? I’d love to hear from you.

Lessons from Ramazan

arabic script

 

Today I have the chance to share some of the things I learned from my Muslim neighbors in India about life and faith in a guest post for the Missio Alliance blog. Writing about the experience of observing Ramazan and celebrating Eid with my friends in the slum brings back memories of breathtakingly difficult and beautiful times spent with wonderful people. I am so thankful for everything they have taught me, and for the ways that their friendship continues to shape my journey with Jesus.  Head over to MissioAlliance.org to read the post!

Back to the Land

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A baby water buffalo with full-grown ears!

 

This past week we had the privilege of visiting A.’s Indian colleague and his family in their village. This colleague is a very thoughtful community worker with a heart for the poor and a knack for building relationships and disarming people with his gentle demeanor. It’s not unusual for him to begin his workday in the wee hours of the morning helping his father to harvest a field of their crops before commuting into the city to meet up with A. for work, so our friend’s life is still very much rooted in the village and it was nice to see more of that side of his life. It was nice to get away from the noise and the crowds of the city and reconnect with nature again. We slept on the roof under the stars, enjoyed seeing lots of beautiful birds (and even a wild fox!), and explored the fields and dirt roads with our friend.

It was amazing to see how in tune the villagers are to nature, and how knowledgeable and creative they are about making use of the natural world. Our first morning there, he taught us how to harvest our toothbrushes and toothpaste directly from the tree: we broke off small twigs from a neem tree and used the frayed ends to scrub our teeth, just like the locals. We have seen neighbors doing this before, even in the city, but had never tried it ourselves. Surprisingly, this neem stick method really seemed to get the job done! But there’s a reason you’ve never seen neem-flavored toothpaste in stores—it’s incredibly bitter.

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Our ideal homestead.

 

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The ornately carved wooden doorway of our friend’s ancestral home. The house is over one hundred years old!

 

People were very laid-back and friendly. Our host addressed everyone we met as “Uncle” or “Grandma” or some other relative. Many of them are his blood relatives, but even the ones who aren’t have grown up alongside him or parented him nearly as much as they have their own children. When we visited his ancestral house, three of his uncles had tea with us and showed us around the inside courtyard. We were pleasantly surprised by how normally everyone treated us during our stay, because as foreigners we often attract a lot of attention. We eventually realized that most of the people we met didn’t know that we were foreigners!
These beautiful homes are made from mud, bamboo, and the dried branches of lentil bushes. They belong to families of so-called Dalits, or “Untouchables.” In the past, this part of the village probably would have been quite segregated from the rest of the community, and our host told us that even today the Dalits in his village remain landless and therefore earn their income by working in other people’s fields.

The injustice rooted in traditional customs around caste and gender makes up the shadow side of this otherwise peaceful, agrarian community. Our host says he knows of several “honor killings” that have been carried out in the village– murders of either young women or couples who have violated the sexual norms of the community or have chosen a relationship which their families disapproved of.

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A field of sunflowers being grown to sell.

 

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Wells and hand pumps like this one supply water to the village.

 

Our friend says that over the past 10-15 years, the climate of the area has been slowly changing. Right now, the fields are already unusually dry and he fears that monsoon may come late this year. Such fluctuations in weather can be disastrous for subsistence farmers like our friend’s family and neighbors who depend completely on the seasons and the land for their survival. Those who can no longer make ends meet on the farm will eventually end up living in slums in the city, so the problems of rural and urban India are deeply interconnected.
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The puri-making circle: these aunties are busily working away to make enough fried bread for the dozens of guests who are about to descend on the house!

 

The main events of our visit were related to the upcoming wedding of our friend’s younger brother: a puja, or worship ceremony, followed by the Tilak, another ritual (between the groom and the brother of the bride) during which the bride’s family brings gifts to the groom’s family, who then hosts them for a feast in which both extended families celebrate the impending marriage.
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The Brahmin priest, or Pandit, presides over the puja for the groom.

 

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The groom’s parents (foreground) and the pandit (center) make preparations before the Tilak.

 

The ceremonies were interesting to watch, but having the house crowded with more than two-hundred guests made the second day significantly less restful than the first! In the villages, there is only electricity for a few hours each day–much worse than the power cuts we get in the slum. In this case, those hours were approximately 9 p.m.-6 a.m., with a few sporadic moments throughout the day. Temperatures were well above 100 degrees fahrenheit, but body heat certainly pushed them even higher inside the house!

It was fascinating to experience a slice of rural Indian life. The village is really the heart of the city, since nearly everyone is a recent migrant from the countryside. Seeing the rhythms of family and work life in the village sheds light on our neighbors’ approach to life in the slum, and gives us a greater appreciation for their previous life experiences. However, meeting so many people and having no control over when we eat, sleep, or do anything else over an extended period of time can also be a stressful experience, so we were just as thankful to return to the familiarity of the city afterward!

Ramazan and Eid

          We decided to try the fast that first day of Ramazan, just to see what it was like for our neighbors. We set our alarms to wake up at 2:45 am, early enough to make breakfast and eat before the first azan, or call to prayer, reverberates through the the pre-dawn darkness and everyone stops eating or drinking anything for the next 16 hours—until the fourth call to prayer ends the fast a little after 7 pm. It was difficult to do, especially in such hot, muggy weather. We’re used to feeling hungry from time to time, but the most intense thing was the thirst. I was amazed by the way that our neighbors—and especially the women—go about their same routine of housework all day without food or water: scrubbing their family’s clothes, making food for small children or working men in their household who aren’t fasting, hauling water for cooking, bathing, and laundry, walking out in the sun to buy vegetables at the market.

Then, in the early afternoon, preparations begin for aftar (or iftar), the fast-breaking snacks that everyone eats in the evening before going to pray namaz and later having dinner. I spent hours at my friend’s house learning how to make the chana (spicy chickpeas), pakori (onions deep-fried in spicy chickpea flour), tamarind chutney, papar (deep-fried potato chips), and sarbat (lemonade) that people eat at iftar, along with fruit and dates and other tasty snacks. That evening, another family invited us to come over and break the fast with them. The mother of the family waited patiently for the azan, lost in silent prayer, while the younger children restlessly awaited the voice over the loudspeaker that would signal it was time to dig in.  The call rose from the nearest minaret in melodic Arabic, “God is great…” and along with the thousands of others sitting together in their own houses throughout the community, we broke our fast with a date, then lemonade, fruit, and all the deep-fried goodness on the plates in front of us.

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aftar (“iftar” in Arabic), fast-breaking food

          We haven’t fasted since that first day, but we have continued to be welcomed into the celebration of aftar with our neighbors. We’ve tried our hand at making a few pakori ourselves, and we’ve run around delivering fruit and pakori to different families as they send plates of their homemade aftar to our house.

One night, we were invited to the home of a wealthy Muslim lawyer who lives nearby our slum and invites anyone who wants to come—mostly poor people from our community—to eat aftar, biryani, and sweets at his house. Despite our not having fasted and our complete ignorance of how to pray namaz, we were welcomed to eat, to watch, and to talk. That open feast for the poor reminded us a bit of the kind of party Jesus describes in Luke 14:12-14.  Right after that grand feast, we had the experience of breaking the fast in a more humble setting with friends of ours who hadn’t made aftar most nights at all because of the expense. We chipped in supplies and they did most of the cooking, teaching me how to make even more kinds of ramazan treats. I love the patience and the devotion to God, the sacrificial hospitality, and the vigor of celebration that I saw in the way my neighbors observe Ramazan.

          After a full month of fasting came three days of celebration: Eid. In preparation, everyone cleaned their homes from floor to ceiling, painted their houses in bold colors, and decorated with shiny paper with designs cut into it. The women stayed up all night preparing simai (a sugary dessert), pulki (a spicy yogurt curry), and mattar (peas—also spicy), and on that first day everyone dons expensive new clothes and goes out visiting one another, dressed to the hilt. Andy and I ate in fourteen different homes that first day alone, which made us feel very included and happy—but also VERY full, and a bit sick from the ridiculous blood sugar spike that so many servings of simai brought on!
On the second day, we participated in another Eid tradition: big family outings to different parks and attractions around the city. We went with a large family to the zoo, and since one of the sons in the family makes his living as an auto rickshaw driver, all 13 of us piled into his auto for the half-hour trip!  The zoo was, well, a zoo—that’s really the best way to describe the atmosphere of noisy crowds packed in everywhere.  I think at least a hundred other people from our slum must have been there; we ran into people we knew everywhere. It was a lot of fun to go around to all of the different exhibits with these incredibly excited kids (and excited parents) who had never been to a zoo in their lives and were fascinated by each new creature.
          Eid is one of the few times that families in our community get a day off to do something fun together, and the zoo is one of the few fun places in the city that is cheap enough for almost anyone to afford, so we weren’t really all that surprised to see how crowded it was. We were a bit taken aback, though, to see how a giant playground inside the zoo drew even bigger crowds than the animal exhibits—and by the fact that most of the people making use of the equipment were teenage and adult men!
          The third day of Eid was thankfully a bit more low-key, although house-to-house visiting and simai consumption continued. We’re glad to have been able to share another important cultural experience with our friends here, but also tired enough to be happy that all the celebration is over!